Big news people!!!!

OMGosh, this is big!  This is absolutely the biggest news to hit my blog since its inception.  Do you remember how I was waxing poetic about Joe Mauer and how he's like the most perfect man on the planet?  Well, dear friends, somehow...this post made its way to Twins Management who in turn placed a printout in his locker.  He read it and was flattered so much he had to call me.  I know huh?  Little 'ol me!!!!  We had a really pleasant conversation and he used complete sentences and everything, and didn't curse and used Ma'am when he addressed me!  I was so flabbergasted I could hardly talk, and I was blushing like a school girl caught behind the bleachers!

I somehow finally found my tongue and we began talking team batting averages and I was impressing him with my baseball knowledge.  Speak their language, you know...RBI's, ERA's, infield fly rule (runners on first and second  or first, second and third, less than two outs and an easily caught infield pop-up will render the batter out and runners cannot advance...that's from memory of course, from my extensive years as a girls fast-pitch left-handed catcher, but I digress).  I didn't bother to scratch myself and spit because he couldn't see it anyway, but if it would have helped the conversation, well...anyway, I'm getting off point. He told me there might be a future for me in being the Twins bat girl!  I know, huh???  He mentioned that the Boys and Girls club didn't have a lock on that position and they always get nasty over liability waivers if their kids get hurt, so maybe someone my age wouldn't care so much if I got hit in the head and could waive that coverage.  THAT my friend is called a WIN-WIN, is it not????  This Joe sweetheart is a genius!  I could TOTALLY see him moving into management when he retires.  He said I should think about it and have my people get in touch with his people.  I was really liking where this conversation was going!

Then about halfway through the conversation, he invited me to Hrbek's for dinner.  I'm thinking, what do I wear? Is this a Twins jersey kind of event and we will be noshing on beer and brats, or is this a steak dinner kind of thing?  If that's the case, then the Spanx is definitely staying in the undies drawer.  I so seldom get a good steak dinner, that I'm going to enjoy every morsel and this will require an elastic waistband.  Sorry Joe...I mean, you are a God amongst men, but we are talking steak dinner here.  Besides, I'll bet you are the kind of guy who hates for his women to suffer for their fashion, am I right?  Just another thing to love about you!

So anyway...let me get back to the story... we are talking about the upcoming dinner and he asks me if I've ever been to Tahiti.  I'm thinking off-season planning, wow...he's organized just like me.  This bodes so well for our budding friendship.  Then, it happened.  It was unexpected, and it broke my heart.  I woke up.  GAWD...I HATE it when that happens...I'm just sayin'...